Social Media - Assume The Best

That's my mantra, and I'm really trying to stick to it. When on social media, don't jump to conclusions you have no basis for. Assume the best.

With the written word, it's very easy to read comments with your own mood or bias as the back drop. I was shocked recently to be called "malicious" on a serious discussion thread. A woman had left a comment about third world sweat shops, cheap clothing and what we can do to improve the situation. I simply wanted to expand on her comment. We were so on the same page. Admittedly I should have started mine with "Absolutely" or "Agreed" instead of just launching in to more of what she was saying. Her response to my response was stunning. She was absolutely livid with me and thought I was being a complete bitch. It took me about five readings of my comment to figure out how she had come to her conclusion and I never got to explain myself because the newspaper closed the thread. Pah!

If you think about it, almost any comment or Tweet can be taken at least two different ways. It's a minefield. Try saying this in an angry, accusing voice and then in a genuine, inquiring one -

"How did you reach that conclusion?"

or

"Why would anyone do that?"

Sigh. Once on the "being offended" path, there's almost no going back for most people. One side tries to explain what they really meant and the other side can't swallow his/her pride and accept it. Instead s/he remains righteous and indignant, and it becomes "Well, you should have......" etc. and all judgmentally.

So let's all try to pause, read a comment twice and look for the best instead of the worst shall we? And let's remind each other from time to time too.

Social Media - I Promise to Block You If....

I'm taking a stand against insults in my own little way. Spending a considerable amount of time on social media, I am often dismayed at the way people "speak" to each other. Using words like "End of" and CAPITAL LETTERS to effectively shut down another person now seem to be par for the course. I wonder if those same people deal with differing opinions that way in real life. I suspect not.

Can you imagine getting into a discussion at a party or in a pub with someone you barely know, say a friend of a friend. This happens a lot on social media. You can be on a friend's Facebook page, having a heated but respectful debate and then another 'friend' comes in and starts telling you you know nothing, or you should "get over yourself" and so on. Really? Would you do that if we were both at that friend's house? I think not.

And although it's almost impossible to have a discussion in 140 characters, this happens even more on Twitter. In the past few weeks I have been called an "abject moron" for wanting responsible gun handling laws, a "Commie Brit" for pointing out the lower incidence of gun homicides elsewhere, and a "pedophile supporter" - not quite sure what that even related to. Of course, it's a little less controlled on Twitter as anyone can pick up on a comment you make; they don't even have to be following you.

But, - and here's the secret - you can block them! Yes, really. It's not a sign of weakness, especially if you give them fair warning. My fair warning usually comes in the form of "Ah - and now the insults. A sure sign that you'e out of ideas". Yes, it can infuriate the offender rather than makes them pursue a more rational line of debate, but who cares? You're just about to block them and they know that whatever their next salvo is, - you can't see it! Quite takes the wind out of their sails.

So I'm taking my own personal stand - and it's even on my Twitter profile. "I promise to block you if you start hurling insults."

Try it - it's very liberating!

Or just send them this!