Can you imagine getting into a discussion at a party or in a pub with someone you barely know, say a friend of a friend. This happens a lot on social media. You can be on a friend's Facebook page, having a heated but respectful debate and then another 'friend' comes in and starts telling you you know nothing, or you should "get over yourself" and so on. Really? Would you do that if we were both at that friend's house? I think not.
And although it's almost impossible to have a discussion in 140 characters, this happens even more on Twitter. In the past few weeks I have been called an "abject moron" for wanting responsible gun handling laws, a "Commie Brit" for pointing out the lower incidence of gun homicides elsewhere, and a "pedophile supporter" - not quite sure what that even related to. Of course, it's a little less controlled on Twitter as anyone can pick up on a comment you make; they don't even have to be following you.
But, - and here's the secret - you can block them! Yes, really. It's not a sign of weakness, especially if you give them fair warning. My fair warning usually comes in the form of "Ah - and now the insults. A sure sign that you'e out of ideas". Yes, it can infuriate the offender rather than makes them pursue a more rational line of debate, but who cares? You're just about to block them and they know that whatever their next salvo is, - you can't see it! Quite takes the wind out of their sails.
So I'm taking my own personal stand - and it's even on my Twitter profile. "I promise to block you if you start hurling insults."
Try it - it's very liberating!
Or just send them this!
I have never fallen in love with Twitter for this reason. It made me feel vulnerable and I imagined every sentence I wrote being misunderstood so I stopped tweeting regularly. There are some odd characters out there who feel incredibly powerful behind their laptops and can get very vicious. I still haven't worked out why they need to do this
ReplyDeleteAgree. I have some days where I don't go there at all. It's quite amusing to see how quickly my follower numbers start tumbling. Some people must have a device whereby they "Unfollow" people who don't tweet every hour on the hour.
DeleteMy Facebook friends are too civilised and bright to resort to insults, and on Twitter, I have a very basic presence so don't have to engage with idiots either. I agree with you though, blocking is a great way to get rid of offensive idiots.
ReplyDeleteI did get onto a spat on my blog once. It was about a local situation, and I got a lot of abuse from locals, so I just removed the post after deciding that a peaceful life in the village was more important than trouble on't blog. :)
Definitely. I get into terrible fights on Twitter about gun violence. Unfortunately, because some of the gun nuts are also complete idiots, they very quickly start hurling abuse and threats, which is when the "block" feature comes in nicely.
DeleteLike your new blog! I've been fairly lucky on FB and Twitter, although i don't use the latter much, and on Facebook only really engage with friends. I've occasionally had some nasty comments on my blog though - people really are awful.
ReplyDeleteFortunately my blog readers are all nice!
DeleteI remember once writing a blog post about trees in America, and making a comment about how the trees were smaller than in Britain, because bigger ones don't survive ice storms. I considered whether to put in a proviso saying "this only applies to where I live, on the Great Plains; I know that there are huge trees elsewhere in the US, eg the great redwoods", but I decided not to, as most of the people (if not all) reading my blog would know where I was based, and it seemed clunky and not interesting to add that in. Sure enough, a couple of years later, I got a comment saying "You are obviously uninformed..." and explaining about redwoods etc. It's so tedious. It's almost like you have to put explanations in footnotes, or something. It's a shame, because I think it stifles creativity, humour, irony, and promotes a rather strait-laced approach. (Though actually, the commenter said I was "uniformed" instead of "uninformed", which did tickle me, so it was worth it!)
ReplyDeleteI think you're probably quite a ripe target, as you write a lot about cultural differences, and since you can't always do the endless footnotes, but have to assume a certain degree of common sense in the reader, I guess people who want to will take offence at what they perceive as criticism of their country and its mores.
This comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteOh the bloody generalizations I usually have to write - especially when it's anything about the US. Doesn't matter how many times I insert "Most" or "Usually", there is always someone who tells me I'm wrong because they never did that, or it's not like that where they live. Most tiresome.
DeleteSome people are mean to everybody and it's just entertainment. They always say 'Don't feed the trolls' so blocking seems the best thing. I know how unnerving it is and don't blame you. It's actually quite a thrill when you press the button isn't it?
ReplyDeleteIt is. Half of me wants to stay and argue my point but with many, there is absolutely no point at all. I have also left a few FB groups recently and even though whoever was rude to me apparently got a right old telling off, and embers of the groups have asked me to re-join, my lie is better for not having to listen to the haters!
DeleteNo edit button - *members* and *life*
Delete